Hello, Welcome to the Computerists Psychiatric Hotline


If You Are:
Obsesive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly

If You Are:
Co-dependent, please ask someone else to press 2.

If You Have:
Multiple-personalities, please press 3,4,5, and 6.

If You Are:
Paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Please stay on the line so we can trace the call.

If You Are:
Schizophrenic, listen carefully, and a little voice will tell you which number to press.

If You Are:
Manic-depresive, it doesn't matter which button you press. No one will answer.

All others, just use your back  button!